


Guarded

by SlinkySpiders



Series: Haikyuu!! Omegaverse Collection [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Alpha Kuroo, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Drama, M/M, Misunderstandings, Omega Hinata, Omegaverse, Physical Abuse, TsukiHina friendship, kuroo is just confused, not from kuroo thou, omega tsukishima, or tsuki, tsukishima is insecure and scared of being hurt, tsukishima's insecurities fuck up his relationship w/ kuroo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-05-15 00:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5765308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlinkySpiders/pseuds/SlinkySpiders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima should've never accepted Kuroo's court in the first place. </p>
<p>He remembered the bruises on his brother's arms and the smiling, lying face telling Tsukishima everything was okay. You could never trust an alpha with an omega, he told himself. </p>
<p>Then why was Kuroo making Tsukishima so damn happy? </p>
<p>[Takes place directly after the events in 'Deep Breath' but can be read as a stand-alone piece]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I AM FINALLY WRITING MY KUROTSUKI OMEGAVERSE PIECE OHMYGOD SORRY FOR THE WAIT.
> 
> First off, thank you guys so much for 1000+ kudos on Deep Breath! It seriously means a lot to me and I am so grateful you all enjoy my work. 
> 
> Second, here it is!! The KuroTsuki!! This piece will be two chapters now b/c I have to start getting to work on a JeanMarco fic for my partner's birthday. Sorry folks! I plan to write some Oiyama, Iwaoi, and Tsukkiyama in the future though, so keep your eyes peeled! 
> 
> Few notes  
> \- Although omega/alpha relationships are typically okay, there is still a lot of abuse/disrespect for omegas in this universe and it is pretty commonplace to have an alpha abuse their omega.  
> \- The first chp may be a bit confusing but it's supposed to be!

_“I’ll accept your court,” Tsukishima said, eyes scrunched up in embarrassment._

_Kuroo laughed, his breath puffing up in front of Tsukishima’s vision. He felt his heart pound in his ears as Kuroo’s chuckle warmed his chest. For a moment, he could hear nothing at all, feel nothing at all, but was brought back to reality when Kuroo leaned in and kissed Tsukishima softly on the cheek._

_“That makes me really happy,” Kuroo said simply, “I’ve never courted anyone before.”_

_Tsukishima looked away, slightly flustered, but a smile was threatening to break his façade._

_“Just don’t act so formal, I’m not a delicate object, some omega you need to protect,” Tsukishima said._

_Kuroo nodded, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”_

\--

Tsukishima fell out of sleep roughly and found his face smashed into the side of his bed and a hand dangling over the edge. He groaned and tucked his head into his pillow.

It wasn’t light yet, but he needed to be up for practice soon. He groaned again, this time a little softer. His head was whirling over his conversation with Kuroo the day earlier.

What the _fuck_ was he thinking?

He shouldn’t have let the courting go on as long as it did in the first place. But he kept _encouraging_ Kuroo and he didn’t know why. And now, of all things, he had gone and accepted the alpha’s request. He wanted to lamely blame it on being exposed to Hinata’s oversaturated heat pheromones for so long, but he knew there was a deeper reason.

He liked Kuroo, he _enjoyed_ being with Kuroo. He hadn’t enjoyed being with anyone since he met Yamaguchi.

He had let this go on for too long. When he had entered high school he had said “No relationships, no bonding,” the minute he had walked into the classroom. Now here he was, barely into his first year, hooked onto an third-year alpha like a goddamn fool.

He was a _fool._

He ought to just call Kuroo and break it off. These things never worked out. All alphas were the same. His brother’s-

His phone buzzed obnoxiously from his bedside table. Tsukishima wanted to ignore it, but his curiosity was too strong for his stubborn streak so he sat up to slip on his glasses and take a look.

_From: KurooKat_

_Morning Tsuki **\\(^o^)/**_ _I hope you have a good day!! We’re skyping later right?_

Damn it, Tsukishima’s heart was doing that little flip thing again. He couldn’t break it off with Kuroo right now.

Was it so wrong to be happy this way? Why was he so afraid of being hurt?

_You know why,_ He told himself.

Maybe he’d just wait and see. Kuroo was like all other alphas, like his brother’s ex-alpha, so he would probably keep this sweet smokescreen up for just a bit longer.

Tsukishima could just soak in that attitude before Kuroo revealed what he was _really_ after (in which Tsukishima would cut all contact off and it wouldn’t hurt at all).

_Yeah right._

\--

Tsukishima arrived to school early, but the day seemed to drag on and on.

Hinata was out for the next few days, and so was Kageyama (Tsukishima just hoped they weren’t doing anything stupid, they were both too young and too inexperienced to be getting into each other just yet).

Which honestly did sound a little pompous on his part, since Hinata was older than him.

He had texted Yamaguchi about his courtship right after it happened, and the beta had seemed happy enough about it on the phone, but he had been strangely silent with Tsukishima all day. It was gritting on his nerves.

He had no choice but to pay attention to Kuroo (as if that was actually an excuse).

_From: KurooKat_

_Kenma refuses to wear the cat ears I bought for him. I thought he would look really cute in them too owo._

_To: KurooKat_

_im sure kenma does not appreciate ur meddling kuroo, u need to be more considerate_

_From: KurooKat_

_True, but then I’m only trying to improve his fashion! Hey, if he won’t wear them, will you? :3_

_To: KurooKat_

_where would i wear cat ears?_

_From: KurooKat_

_On a date with me! Which, by the way, I think we should def go on this weekend ;) You can come up to Tokyo??_

Tsukishima hesitated. He was already too invested. He needed to back off. He-

_To: KurooKat_

_sure, what time do u wanna meet up and where?_

_From: KurooKat_

_The train station is fine! How about noon?_

Damn it.

\--

Hinata was over the moon when he heard Kuroo was taking the other out, and the fellow omega called Tsukishima the night before to exchange gossip (which was actually kind of nice, even if Tsukishima complained).

Their date went spectacular, of course.

Kuroo was very polite but still just as rough around the edges as he was in a volleyball match. They mostly walked around the city, getting lunch in a small café (where Kuroo glared at some cumbersome alphas who were flirting with Tsukishima).

It was grossly romantic, in the typical sense, but Tsukishima found himself having a damn good time. They talked about volleyball, and school, and all the things that made Tsukishima break out into a grin. He even ended up wearing the cat ears for a split second.

It felt relaxed, as if they had been born hand-n’-hand. As Tsukishima clung onto Kuroo’s arm, fingers wrapped around his bicep, he thought that this was pretty _nice_ and that maybe he had been wrong all along.

When Kuroo kissed him at the train station, his lips sweet from the candy they had munched on a few minutes earlier, he thought that it was okay. That he had conjured up all this doubt just to scare himself into isolation. He had been doing that his whole life after all.

It was on the train, while he was texting Akiteru when he saw an alpha pull another omega (supposedly ‘belonging’ to them) into a seat.

He spotted hand shaped purple blotches on the omega’s thighs and he wanted to throw up.

He had to be careful, he told himself. He had to be careful.

\--

Another two weeks passed, and Kuroo was the same. Tsukishima was beginning to worry. He needed to cut it off, that he knew, but he was enjoying himself so _much_ that he wasn’t sure if he could. It was tearing away at him.

Yamaguchi had been withdrawn for quite a bit, but now it seemed he was invested in a newfound friend, because he was constantly slaving over his phone.

Tsukishima knew he was texting someone, probably an obnoxious person due to the excessive amount of emojis they used, when he towered over Yamaguchi one day in class and spotted their messages on the freckled beta’s phone.

Yamaguchi had blushed and stuttered, but not in his usual nervous manner, but in a way that screamed “I’m hiding something,”

Tsukishima didn’t like to pry though, and he wasn’t about to push Yamaguchi into anything uncomfortable, so he didn’t comment on it. But Yamaguchi’s distracted attitude meant that Tsukishima was kind of at a loss. Usually, he could bounce his feelings off of Yamaguchi. Now he was starting to tie himself up in knots.

Was he wrong? Was Kuroo a decent person and he was just being cynical?

Or would Kuroo change, and he would become nothing more than an omega on an alpha’s arm?

He was terrified of that thought, and Tsukishima _hated_ being terrified.

He thought of Daichi and Suga, and Nishinoya and Asahi, all couples who had found themselves a place of respect and happiness. But they were alphas and betas, not _omegas._

He did not look at Kageyama and Hinata for advice (who were vulgarly in love) because they were _idiots_ and didn’t understand class dynamics even if it smacked them in the face (which it kind of had).

Tsukishima didn’t want to be this way, he didn’t want to make judgments based on class. But he couldn’t help himself. There was so much at stake, and he wasn’t about to get hurt again. He wasn’t about to be in that position.

Tsukishima agonized over it for another week. They had a training camp soon, and Kuroo would want to spend most of it with him. Tsukishima needed to be prepared. He would either end it now (and he had already enjoyed too much) or continue on.

_What if I could stay this happy for longer?_

The thought was appealing, he realized, one afternoon during homeroom. He hated his judgments, he hated feeling this way, so why didn’t he work towards happiness?

It seemed simple, but Tsukishima wasn’t sure how long it would take Kuroo to change. It had taken Akiteru’s several, several months before-

Lecture ended. Tsukishima stood up.

He was going to cherish Kuroo more. Maybe if he attended to Kuroo, he would stay the Kuroo he had begun to fall in love with. The one he would want to spend a heat with. The one he was comfortable with.

\--

To say Kuroo was concerned was a little bit of an understatement.

It had been about a month since he had started officially dating Tsukishima, which was _great,_ but now the omega was starting to act odd.

He was being, strangely, nice? His texts weren’t as sharp as they usually were, and their skype calls lacked the usual friendly bickering Tsukishima typically instigated. Kuroo loved those aspects of his boyfriend. Tsukishima wasn’t pushover, he wasn’t some sort of kid that expected a heart-throbbing romance. Neither was Kuroo, he couldn’t _handle_ that.

He was just someone looking to be contented, to be happy with someone else, which was Kuroo was also looking for (wow!) and his grouchy attitude broke up any sort of hesitations Kuroo may have had.

Which is why his amiability was seriously freaking Kuroo out.

Kenma didn’t seem to understand this when Kuroo explained it to him.

“He’s trying to be kinder to you, what’s the issue with that?” Kenma asked him as they rode the train back from practice.

Kuroo sighed and leaned his head back against the wall, “It’s just not like him. He’s usually so full of snark, but now it’s like he got scared off by something.”

Kenma replied without looking up, “You are pretty scary looking Kuroo. I’ve seen many small children flinch in fear when you smirk.”

“Hey! That’s not true! My smirk is inspirational, not scary,” Kuroo defended himself.

“Who told you that, Bokuto-san? He’s probably not the best judge of smirks,” Kenma said cheekily.

“I think Bokuto appreciates smirks as much as the next person! And to be honest, yes! He did tell me that,” Kuroo retorted.

Kenma snorted and Kuroo considered that to be a slight victory. It was always good to see Kenma happy.

Kuroo let out a deep sigh and Kenma actually tore his eyes away from his game for a second.

“It’s really bothering you, isn’t it?” Kenma asked considerately.

Kuroo nodded, “Yeah. I’m afraid he’s gotten a bad impression of me or that something bad is about to happen. I don’t want to loose him now Kenma.”

Kenma reached up and patted Kuroo’s head.

“You’ll figure it out Kuroo,” He turned back to his game, his sudden burst of affection apparently all drained, “And anyhow, you can just ask him how he’s doing this weekend at the training camp.”

Kuroo looked off the side, “Yeah”

His stomach cramped uncomfortably. He really didn’t have a good feeling about this.

\--

Tsukishima’s chest was pulling tighter and tighter through camp. He was distracted, missing blocks and snapping at the idiot duo more often than usual.

Yamaguchi sent him a concerned look, but Tsukishima shook it off. He didn’t need anyone else.

He was worried because Kuroo wanted to take him out to dinner that night. He had been actually following his plan by cutting down on his natural stubbornness, but that had been over text, how was he going to be in person? He supposed it was a little counterproductive to try and avoid a typical alpha-omega dynamic while _acting_ like an omega.

But he wasn’t acting like an omega, he realized, he was just being nice. Which isn’t something he did very often.

He knew Kuroo was probably close to revealing his true intentions soon, so this might be the last chance he had to be with _his_ Kuroo. He should be extra kind tonight. Maybe he could make the night last.

_Smack!_

He found himself on the court, face throbbing, with Hinata’s loud voice in his ear, as that thought hobbled around in his head. Shit, he’d gotten distracted enough to get hurt.

“Take a break,” Daichi said, helping him to his feet and handing him some water.

Tsukishima grunted in thanks and went to sit on the bench. Nekoma was playing in the court nearby, and he admired the back of Kuroo’s legs while the captain served. It was _nice,_ Tsukishima admitted. He took a gulp of water.

Yamaguchi came to sit next to him.

“You alright?” He asked.

“Fine,” Tsukishima bit out.

Yamaguchi was quiet for a bit, “Is everything alright between you and Kuroo-san?”

“Yes,” Tsukishima replied.

_But it might not be for long._

Yamaguchi didn’t speak back, knowing Tsukishima well enough to recognize when it was time to be silent. His phone suddenly chirped and he went flying to answer it. Whoever was pestering him was seriously persistent.

Tsukishima was really beginning to get annoyed by the anonymous texter. He looked over at Yamaguchi, who was sporting the cutest grin, and he felt some of his bitterness drain away. He didn’t want Yamaguchi to be unhappy.

“Good news?” He asked while taking a sip of water.

Yamaguchi seemed a little startled, but he smiled nonetheless, “My friend wants to meet up later, that’s all.”

“Mm,” Tsukishima really wasn’t in the mood to talk. Why did he start a conversation to begin with?

Ah yes. Anxiety, distracted, guilt, right, right, _ri-_

Daichi was calling them in.

He’d have to face his demons one day he thought as he got up to speak with the team.

\--

He tried to look nice for Kuroo. He changed his clothes and combed through his hair, even rubbed at his scent glands so that he’d smell _slightly_ more omega-sweet than usual.

Kuroo was waiting outside the gym in his sweats. Damn, Tsukishima got worked up for nothing.

He couldn’t help but smile as Kuroo waved at him.

“I thought we’d go to a ramen shop down the block? It’s not the healthiest food for a training camp I know,” Kuroo explained.

Tsukishima nodded, his eyes flickering down to Kuroo’s hands, “It’s fine.”

He wasn’t one for physical contact, but he knew Kuroo _loved_ it, so he clasped his hand in Kuroo’s and ignored how sweaty and sticky it felt and kept his fingers tightly wound around Kuroo’s palm.

They walked in silence, which was usually something Tsukishima enjoyed, but now it seemed rife with tension.

Kuroo seated them when they arrived and Tsukishima actually allowed the captain to pull out his seat like a proper “couple” which is something he would have usually protested to.

“I’ll pay,” Kuroo said, sporting a soft grin.

Tsukishima nodded and continued scanning the menu. He had to make sure Kuroo was happy. He felt like they were slipping, but he wasn’t sure if it was his own fault or if Kuroo was about to change.

He couldn’t take the risk of the latter.

As they waited, Tsukishima felt a hand squeeze his knee and then retreat to the lap of his partner. He blushed, but didn’t knock Kuroo off of him.

“You seem a bit down, is everything okay?” Kuroo asked.

Tsukishima made a small smile, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired from practice. Kageyama and Shouyo were particularly loud today and it gave me a headache.”

Kuroo laughed, “I’ve noticed they’re practicing better than they usually do. By the time they’re third years they’ll be an unstoppable power couple.”

Tsukishima groaned, but was secretly happy they could fall into a semblance of normal conversation.

“I hope it doesn’t go to their heads. Remember, I have to spend two more years with those idiots, I’m not prepared to deal with their egos as well,” Tsukishima complained.

“Mm probably not, but you’ve got a lot of patience Tsuki,” Kuroo replied.

_How much do you have?_ Tsukishima thought distantly.

Their food came quickly and was a nice distraction from talking. He cursed himself for being so nervous and basically ruining their evening. Maybe he _was_ over-reacting. Kuroo was a good person, Tsukishima shouldn’t impose his fears on the man.

Kuroo slurped nosily and Tsukishima looked up from his own noodles, watching the alpha scrunch up his nose cutely as he ate. Tsukishima quickly looked back down. Everything about Kuroo was so _satisfying._

_But you remember, don’t you?_ Tsukishima reminded himself.

An image of his brother flashed in his mind, dredged from the memories of a child unsure of what he was seeing. His eyes suddenly stung and he quickly slapped himself back into reality.

Kuroo was looking at him strangely, but Tsukishima decided not to comment, and they both went back to eating their meals.

It was pretty late by the time they got out (Ukai wouldn’t be happy about that) and they were just going to make curfew. A chilly air nipped at Tsukishima’s skin as they left the shop and he shivered.

Kuroo draped his jacket over Tsukishima’s shoulders. Cliché as hell, Tsukishima would’ve said, but he decided not to. Keep Kuroo happy for the evening, break it off, and everything’s fine.

He told himself, again, and again, and again as they walked back. They were holding hands once more, but this time their fingers fit together awkwardly, as if Kuroo wasn’t really trying. It only managed to make Tsukishima more nervous.

Kuroo _was_ going to change. He fucked up by trying not to fuck up.

Or had he fucked up by thinking Kuroo would fuck up? And that was the root of all this? Tsukishima’s head was actually starting to hurt. He was so confused. How could he have let any of this happen in the first place? He should’ve refused Kuroo’s courting, should’ve turned him down immediately.

Now, here he was, a _mess._

_“_ We’re back Tsuki,” Kuroo said softly, letting go of his hand.

Tsukishima stopped right before the giant gymnasium, suddenly realizing how far away his mind had been.

“Sorry, I’m sort of distracted today..” He mumbled.

Kuroo shrugged, “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

_God_ Tsukishima wanted this to last forever. But it never did, it never _did._

“Thank you Kuroo,” He replied, looking up at the alpha’s eyes for one of the few times that night.

Kuroo looked distant, as if he was contemplating something important, and Tsukishima felt that slipping sensation again. He didn’t know who Kuroo would be tomorrow, he realized.

“Can I kiss you?” Kuroo asked.

Tsukishima hesitated for a brief moment before he nodded.

He closed his eyes, he didn’t want to see Kuroo’s face. He didn’t want that to be his last memory. He was a _coward._

He should’ve done-He should’ve-

Kuroo’s lips never touched his, and for a moment he thought Kuroo had left, but he could still smell the alpha in front of him.

“Tsuki, please, what’s wrong. You haven’t been acting like yourself for weeks. It’s starting to upset me-“ Kuroo started.

_There it is, you’ve done it._

“Don’t,” Tsukishima choked out, “I can’-can’t do this.”

He turned around quickly and darted. He felt Kuroo’s jacket slip off his shoulders and heard the alpha call out to him, but it was too late to go back to either of those things.

_Shit._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no fucking excuse for this being so late im sorry

Tsukishima didn’t have the guts to see Kuroo off the next day. He _hated_ himself for that. If there was one thing he was constantly complaining about, it was cowards, but he knew it was because he was one himself.

His brother had been too. Tsukishima tried not to resent him for that either, but it was hard. Yamaguchi instantly noticed his bitter mood, but he didn’t comment and the only indication he was concerned was a can of strawberry soda (Tsukishima’s secret favorite) waiting in Yamaguchi’s arms when they got onto the bus. Tsukishima was grateful Yamaguchi knew how to respect boundaries.

As they pulled away he spotted Kuroo talking with Kenma, both their heads lowered like monks speaking of scandal. Kenma’s face was scrunched up in irritation, but Tsukishima knew it was how he showed he cared. Kuroo shook his head rapidly and Tsukishima looked away, his heart too raw to watch anymore.

He _had_ made the right decision though. He knew Kuroo was probably just bitching to the beta that Tsukishima was just some rotten, stubborn omega that he hadn’t been able to get under his thumb. All alphas desired that. It didn’t matter where or when.

Hinata’s eyes were on him the entire ride home (which pissed Kageyama off to no end) and Tsukishima suspected he was smelled pretty hurt to the other omega. He reminded himself to take a _good_ shower when he got home.

Tsukishma was so tired and anxious when he returned that when Akiteru attempted to pry his brother’s worries out of him, he snapped loudly and cursed.

“Really!” His mother exclaimed.

He huffed and stomped upstairs, eyes burning as he reached the end of his emotional rope.

\---

Kuroo was having kind of a bad time.

Kenma hadn’t seen him this distraught since the last time they had been beaten down before nationals. It was a difficult sight to take in: sullen Kuroo. Quiet Kuroo.

“Why don’t you call him?” Kenma suggested.

Kuroo shook his head fiercely, “He doesn’t want to see me. I scared him off Kenma. You should _’_ ve seen it. Actually, never mind. It was pretty awful.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Kenma replied.

“It _is._ ”

\---

“Yama-chan? You seem kind of distracted? Is everything okay?”

“Sorry, Tsuki has just been a little down lately. I’m worried.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet of you! Glasses-kun is lucky to have a friend like you. Too bad he never realized what he was missing out on.”

“Shush you.”

\---

Tsukishima’s head pounded loudly as he woke up, a harsh reminder that he had to continue on into the day. He would rather fall back into sleep and float in a hollow dream.

It had almost been two weeks since he had fled Kuroo and unofficially broken off their relationship, but he still felt conflicted. Part of him was convinced Kuroo would come and smash the living daylights out of him if Tsukishima made contact, while the other (the majority) was rolled up in guilt for thinking such bad things of Kuroo.

Tsukishima couldn’t _help_ it.

Those were his morning thoughts now. Wake up, think about what happened, regret, push it aside, and get up. As he slipped on his uniform his vision swam suddenly and he almost fell. He hadn’t been eating well either. For some reason, he just didn’t have the motivation to eat or care of himself.

God, Kuroo really _had_ wrecked him. He needed to let go of this troublesome attachment. It was beginning to detoriate him.

He looked tired but Tsukishima couldn’t find the willpower to care. He knew his scent was probably dry with sadness, something Hinata had been bugging him about for days and he quickly applied a little more deodorant than necessary. It wouldn’t completely cover up the smell but at least it provided a decent distraction.

Yamaguchi’s face was pulled tight when they met up and Tsukishima had been noticing it get tighter and tighter with each passing day. He was honestly so sick of everyone’s concern. They didn’t even _know_ what had happened. They probably suspected him and Kuroo had broken up but none of them understood what really occurred.

_No one will, I can do things by myself. I don’t need anyone. I can’t rely on anyone._

“Tsuki,” Yamaguchi started.

“Don’t,” He snapped.

Yamaguchi sighed loudly and nodded.

Tsuksihima made it through half the day undisturbed and contented before Hinata barged into their classroom, knocking desks this way and that and slamming his hands down near Tsukishima’s bento.

“What?” Tsukishima grit out.

“Sleepover. My house. Tomorrow,” Hinata said, a serious expression on his usual beaming face.

“Can you please speak in sentences?” Tsukishima quipped.

“Come on,” Hinata whined, “You know what I meant. Just come over.”

“Why?” Tsukishima asked as he continued to eat.

“Because you’re a wreck,” Tsukishima frowned, “Shut up. You _are._ The entire team is going nuts trying to figure out how to cheer you up and the only person who can is me so I’m inviting you over for a sleepover.”

“What makes you think you can?” Tsukishima asked indignantly, a little offended.

“Well, Yamaguchi hasn’t done anything because he doesn’t want to offend you and you don’t have any other friends on the team except for me and Yachi-san kind of so-“

“Alright, I get it,” Tsukishima said sharply.

“So you’ll come? Please Kei?” Hinata asked.

The startling use of his first name stopped his next bite. He had forgotten how refreshing it was. Hinata used it so freely-like that of an old friend. He cursed his rotten omega instincts for reacting so strongly but nodded nonetheless. He would never speak it, but it was comforting to have the small boy as a friend.

“Fine,” Tsukishima replied.

Hinata’s face broke out into a wide smile and pumped his fists incessantly.

“You won’t regret it!” Hinata exclaimed.

Tsukishima didn’t believe him.

 ---

“Kuroo, man, you need to call him,” Bokuto said.

Kuroo shook his head. They had met up to hang out, but it ended up looping back to Kuroo’s current problem. He knew Bokuto didn’t mind, but he still felt a little guilty nonetheless that he was causing so much trouble for his best friend.

Bokuto took a long sip of his soda and sighed, “This isn’t going to go away until you both deal with it.”

“Wow, those are wise words from someone who can’t even tell Akaashi they’ve been in love with him for three years,” Kuroo replied bitterly.

Bokuto frowned, “Hey! That’s pretty below the belt, even for you. Come on, we can’t even hang out anymore without you sulking for most of it.”

Kuroo felt that guilt rise up in his throat, “Sorry.”

Bokuto shook his head, “No, sorry, that was uncalled for. I mean, I’m not annoyed or anything but-I don’t like seeing you so upset. I wanna help you.”

“Well you _can’t._ No one can. Tsuki made his decision and now we both have to live with it,” Kuroo retorted.

“Are you sure?” Bokuto asked.

“Yes,” Kuroo said.

“I dunno,” Bokuto spoke slowly, “He didn’t say anything concrete, did he? You don’t even know why he ran away.”

“He said ‘I can’t do this!’ how much more breakup do you need to get? He doesn’t need to say anything else,” Kuroo replied.

“Don’t you want to know why he ran away at all?” Bokuto questioned.

_Yes, of course I do._

Kuroo had been contemplating that question for a long time, wondering if it was just him or perhaps another deeper reason entirely. He wanted Tsukishima to be happy and if Kuroo couldn’t achieve that then he didn’t want to be in a relationship at all.

“I don’t need to know why. He was upset and I can’t allow that. Maybe I’ll never know but-”

“That just sounds like an excuse,” Bokuto stated.

“Well,” Kuroo shrugged, “Maybe it is.”

Bokuto huffed.

\---

Tsukishima walked with a pillow tucked under his arm and a frown on his face as Hinata jumped cheerily by his side as they made their way to the Hinata household. The small middle blocker was chatting about something but Tsukishima kept tuning him out.

“Come on, at least _pretend_ to pay attention,” Hinata whined.

“At least you’ve realized I’m not,” Tsukishima retorted, but his tone wasn’t as harsh as his words.

Hinata just smiled, “I know you care.”

Tsukishima felt his cheeks get a little warm but he quickly dismissed the sensation as they climbed into Hinata’s house.

Natsu latched herself around her brother’s legs and Hinata laughed loudly.

“Hey! It’s omega-bonding time so you’ve gotta stay downstairs, alright?” Hinata told her.

Her little fingers unclenched themselves from his pant leg, but her petite pout spoke volumes. Hinata crouched and patted her head.

“You said you’d play with me today!” Natsu insisted.

“Well,” Hinata said slowly, ”Maybe tomorrow morning you can give me and Kei makeovers. How does that sound?”

“What!”

“Shut up Kei,” Hinata whispered sharply.

Natsu grinned coyly, “Yeah! Okay!”

Hinata mussed her hair before she took off, her feet pounding against the paneled floors as she scurried into the kitchen.

Tsukishima took a moment to thank god his brother was older. Hinata quickly bounded over to the stairs and motioned for Tsukishima to follow, his grin wide. Tsukishima nodded curtly and curled his toes into the soft carpet of the stairs as he climbed.

Hinata’s room was as messy as Tsukishima remembered it to be (although he did notice Hinata _had_ tided it up a little).

It also reeked like Kageyama. He scrunched up his noses and sneezed dramatically. Hinata gave him a sour look and threw a pillow at him (which Tsukishima dutifully dodged).

“It’s not _that_ bad,” Hinata said.

“No,” Tsukishima sat on the bed, “It is.”

Hinata shrugged, “I’m gonna go make some popcorn. There’s a ton of volleyball videos next to the player, so go and pick one.”

Tsukishima waited for Hinata’s footsteps to dull before he moved to mull over the mentioned DVD’s. They were mostly just matches between Karasuno and other teams (when the Small Giant was playing, of course). He picked one that said _“Nationals!!!”_ in big,bright red letters across the top.

Hinata came bursting in a few moments later, his hands full of hot popcorn. Tsukishima had to admit he was a little less stressed in the company of such an easy-going omega. The pheromones were beginning to ease out the knots in his shoulders.

Hinata grinned when he spotted what Tsukishima had chosen and popped it right away. He snuggled up close to Tsukishima as the tape began to play.

They watched in silence mostly, with Tsukishima taking the easy excuse of food not to talk. He wasn’t truly sure why he had come over in the first place. Hinata obviously wanted to pry something out of him, but he wasn’t really willing to dump his soul out just yet. If he was being honest with himself though, he wasn’t sure if he would ever be ready to do that.

As the popcorn diminished and the tape continued, Tsukishima could sense Hinata becoming impatient. His fidgeting even warranted Tsukishima to pull on a small knot of his hair to get him to stop.

An hour passed and Tsukishima was only half-heartedly watching the match. The stale smell of Kageyama added onto Hinata’s small distress was keeping him duly distracted. He didn’t like being put under pressure. And he _certainly_ didn’t like to talk about his feelings. Especially when they concerned Kuroo.

They had about forty minutes left on the tape when Hinata paused it and sighed loudly.

“I know you can smell how worked up I am,” Hinata began.

“Not my problem,” Tsukishima retorted.

Hinata frowned, “Uh, it kind of is? You’ve been down for _ages_ now and reeking like some sort of dead mouse. I mean-not in some sort of road kill way! Just like, someone who’s really upset. I know you can be kind of moody but I also know something happened between you and Kuroo-san so-“

“And how would you know that?” Tsukishima questioned.

“Kenma happened to tell me okay!” Hinata explained, “We were just chatting about stuff and it came up. Besides, you’re my friend. I worry about you.”

“You don’t have to,” Tsukishima dismissed him easily.

“Yeah,” Hinata drawled, “But I wanna. I don’t honestly care if you want me to or not.”

Tsukishima’s chest welled up in a rare burst of gratitude but he forced his face to twist up in annoyance. He didn’t know _how_ to deal with all this. He had no idea how Kageyama managed to be around someone so blunt and idiotic all the time.

“Well-thanks, I guess,” Tsukishima mumbled.

Hinata was quiet for a moment before laying his hands on Tsukishima’s thighs, his fingers hot even through the thick fabric of Tsukishima’s sweats.

“Please, tell me. I won’t treat you any differently or tell Kageyama or anything,” Hinata begged, “I want you to trust me Kei.”

Tsukishima was always thrown off guard when Hinata referred to him with his first name. It was so oddly comforting to hear those syllables in someone else’s mouth (besides his mom’s or brother’s) and he let out a deep, sad sigh.

“I-I know you won’t,” Tsukishima admitted, “But I don’t know how to just talk, you know-like that. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah!” Hinata said quickly.

His lips dropped a little, “Well, honestly, not really. I’ve always spoken my thoughts so it’s a little difficult to understand, but I’m still here for you!”

Tsukishima shook his head, smiling a little, “You won’t give up, will you?”

“Of course not!” Hinata stated dramatically.

“Are you always this persistent?” Tsukishima teased.

“Yeah!!” Hinata replied animatedly.

“Fine-I’ll just-” Tsukishima began.

Hinata’s face became more serious, “Yeah? Go ahead.”

He started off slow, his words stiff and controlled. But the more he spoke the quicker they came until he was spilling sentences off his tongue in big, hot waves. He spoke about his fight with Kuroo, how he was afraid Kuroo had changed for the worst. He mentioned his brother (that big, fluffy omega he loved-even if it was rare to have two omegas in the family) and how he had hooked up with this god-awful alpha and _lied_ to Tsukishima. Told him everything was fine, that things were fine, that he was _fine._ Tsukishima only found out when he walked in to see that alpha pinning Akiteru up to a counter and slamming his fist down on his brother’s face.

He’d only been twelve years old. Akituru had been going out for _two whole years_ and never told Tsukishima anything. And then came all the counseling and legal work and hellish hours spent holding Akiteru close because alphas _never_ turned out good. Akiteru had only dated betas since then, if anyone at all, and alphas had always left a bad taste in Tsukishima’s mouth.

But Kuroo had been so nice. So kind. So wonderfully funny and stubborn and just great. And Tsukishima thought that maybe he was falling under a stupid little spell just so Kuroo could dig his controlling claws into Tsukishima’s back and never let him go. But he was so sorry-He didn’t-

“I didn’t mean to ruin such a good thing,” Tsukishima’s voice cracked, “I’m so paranoid and scared and I don’t trust _anyone_ and I fucking hate it.”

Hinata’s eyes were glassy with angry tears and he pulled Tsukishima into a slightly awkward embrace. Tsukishima let one hand come up and wrap itself around Hinata’s torso, as if it was an anchor.

“I’m sorry-,” Hinata started, “I didn’t know there was so much.”

“Neither did I,” Tsukishima admitted.

Hinata buried his face into Tsukishima’s shoulder and let out a long chain of calming pheromones. Tsukishima relaxed a little.

“You need to talk to Kuroo-san. I know you’re scared but-I don’t think he’s a bad guy. He’s kind of a nerd but those aren’t so bad,” Hinata joked.

Tsukishima smiled, “You outta know. You’ve got a lot of firsthand experience.”

Hinata giggled, “I’m sure Kageyama resents that.”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima agreed.

A few moments passed between them; just comfortable silence amidst Tsukishima’s great unveiling. Hinata squirmed for a second before lifting his face out of Tsukishima’s shoulder.

“Why don’t we do a double-date? We can go up to Tokyo and meet Kuroo-san for some shopping or something. I’ll bring Kageyama so it won’t be too awkward okay? At least you won’t be alone then,” Hinata suggested.

“I don’t think Kageyama is the best person to diffuse awkwardness,” Tsukishima stated bluntly.

“Shush you,” Hinata chided, “So, are you in?”

Hinata was right; the thought did terrify him. But he needed to get this over with if he was ever going to get on with anything. He nodded instead of replying, his voice a little tired.

“Alright!”

 _I just hope I don’t regret this,_ Tsukishima mused.

 ---

It was chilly the morning they decided to go up. Tsukishima brought along a big red sweater Kuroo had gifted him months earlier, while Hinata tugged along a positively pink Natsu (Kageyama had bailed after waking up with a fever) courtesy of an oversized puffy jacket. Hinata was shining as always in a simple long-sleeved shirt and Tsukishima distantly wondered if said smile acted as a heater as well.

“Ready?” Hinata asked animatedly as they stepped onto the train.

“Not really,” Tsukishima shrugged.

He hadn’t slept the night before, too torn up with worries and fears and regrets. He didn’t know how Kuroo was going to react. He had deeply realized that Kuroo was most not likely going to be mad, that he wouldn’t pull Tsukishima into some horrible scar-inducing relationship, but the thought of seeing Kuroo’s honest face so contorted was terrifying enough. Tsukishima didn’t know what he was going to say or _how_ he was going to say it or anything.

He disliked being so unprepared. He disliked mostly everything that came along with this god-awful mess of a situation. It was his entire fault too; if he hadn’t been so jumpy than this would’ve never happened.

He must’ve been projecting worry in waves because Hinata quickly outstretched his hand and covered Tsukishima’s with it.

“Hey Kei, don’t fret so much,” Hinata told him warmly, “Besides, your making those alphas over there really uncomfortable.”

Kei scoffed, “Screw them.”

Hinata grinned, “That’s more like it.”

The trip felt endless yet short all at once. He had so much time with his thoughts it seemed, but they were suddenly at the station before Tsukishima realized it.

Natsu had fully woken up then and her big eyes were glued to the windows, the people, to the city itself, and Tsukishima smiled a little at her wonder. He might be a prick, but he could still appreciate the glory that was childhood curiosity. Even so, he could already slightly scent that she was about to present as an alpha (an early bloomer-he supposed) and he thought that was about right.

Before the doors chimed open, Hinata gave Tsukishima a quick run-down of their plan he had arranged with Kenma.

“Okay, so first we’re going to go to lunch and then we’ll meet Kuroo-san in a mall afterwards and walk around until we have to go home. Does that sound alright? I mean, it’s not a lot for such an expensive trip, but I hope it’s enough,” He sounded genuinely concerned and Tsukishima respected that.

“Yeah,” He grunted.

The train jerked to a stop and they were pushed out onto the platform by the swell of commuters and salarymen nudging their way past them.

Tsukishima growled, low and deep, in his throat as an overbearing salaryman (an alpha, of _course_ ) slammed his shoulder into Hinata a little too roughly. He _hated_ disrespect.

The alpha sneered at him harshly before slipping away. Hinata rubbed the back of his head meekly.

“Kei,” He drawled, “You didn’t need to be so mean.”

“Yeah,” He retorted, “I did. Asshole thinks he can just push you around and for what? Because you go into heat every once in a while? I hope there’s no one at home waiting for him.”

Hinata didn’t reply, but Tsukishima could spot his smile out of the corner of his eye anyhow.

They walked around for a bit and let Natsu take in some of the sites, her eyes big and hands clawing around for every little piece of Tokyo she could grab onto.

Eventually, noon rolled around and Hinata began to whine in hunger. They selected a small café near the shopping center they’d be meeting Kuroo at later. Tsukishima picked lazily at his sandwich, too distracted by their impending meeting to truly eat.

Afterwards, they walked to the center and Natsu demanded that both Tsukishima and Hinata hold her hands. Her small fingers felt hot in Tsukishima’s palm.

He scented Kuroo before he saw him. Kuroo smelled like sneakers and fresh sheets-a strong alpha smell Tsukishima had eventually developed for him.

Kuroo looked exhausted, his eyes rimmed with shadows, and Tsukishima pushed down that immediate pulse of guilt that rose at the sight. He knew that he had to make amends. Kuroo didn’t seem angry at all, a fact that only worsened how Tsukishima felt.

“Hinata, Natsu,” He greeted softly.

He turned his gaze to Tsukishima and his eyes sunk a little, “Tsukishima.”

The lack of his usual nickname made Tsukishima’s heart shake.

“Hey,” If Kuroo picked up on how shaky Tsukishima sounded, he didn’t say anything.

The mall was outdoor, so they had the blessing of the wind and the afternoon sky. They skipped around for a while, Hinata’s voice taking up most of the conversation. Kuroo didn’t exchange any words with Tsukishima, but Tsukishima would sometimes catch those slight glances Kuroo would send his way as if to say _is everything alright?_

Of course, it wasn’t, but each glance made Tsukishima more and more determined to try and work this out. He realized, after about an hour of walking, that Kuroo truly did deserve this happiness. That it wasn’t about to change.

The thought struck him hard and he almost asked to sit down.

Finally, Natsu spotted a toyshop up ahead. Her little feet took off and Hinata scrambled after her, his legs struggling to keep up with her determination.

“Hey! Natsu! Wait up!,” He turned back to them for an instant while he ran, “I’ll catch up with you guys later!”

Their two orange heads ducked into the store, probably never to be seen for another few hours (Tsukishima mused, picturing both siblings getting caught up in some sort of display or another).

Kuroo whistled awkwardly as the seconds passed, both individuals too nervous to move.

Tsukishima finally mustered up some words, “Want to sit? There’s a bench over there in the shade.”

“Sure,” Kuroo agreed.

When they sat, Tsukishima realized he probably should’ve suggested a spot in the sun as the wind was biting in the shade and he shivered visibly. Kuroo turned to him, face scrunched up in concern. He huffed and began to unwind the scarf he was wearing. Tsukishima put up his hands in protest, but Kuroo ignored him and simply dumped the scarf around Tsukishima’s neck. The warmth of the wool immediately set his body ablaze, as well as the fact that he could smell Kuroo so vividly. It made him dizzy.

Kuroo looked so _tired._ It was killing Tsukishima. Every sigh, every ache, every exhausted smile was killing Tsukishima.

Kuroo cleared his throat, “I'm sorry I hurt you,"

“You didn't," Tsukishima said, "I was hurting myself."

“I-I didn’t mean to take it out on you. But I didn’t know how to handle this, how to handle _us,”_ Tsukishima emphasized.

Kuroo nodded, “Yeah, shorty said you had a lot of trust issues.”

“What!” Tsukishima cried.

Kuroo grinned sheepishly, “He texted me when we first got together. I guess he got my number from Kenma or something. So I've kind of been expecting you to be off-put? But you were so nice and that got me even more nervous. I guess that’s why I upset you. I should’ve been more considerate of your feelings.”

Tsukishima shook his head violently, “No, it wasn’t your fault. It was mine-it’s-it’s hard to explain.”

“You don’t have to-“

“I do actually,” Tsukishima admitted, “If I ever want us to move on together, I do.”

“Okay,” Kuroo settled, “What is it?”

“When I was little, my brother was in an abusive relationship with an alpha for-for a long time and never told me. I guess I’ve just always gotten the impression that alphas are only there to seduce omega’s and then entrap them. I mean I know that’s not true at all, but the impression is still _there_ and it still nags at me again, and again, and again. Even though I know it’s not true it still worries me constantly. I’ve never been with an alpha before. I-I didn’t know what to expect.”

His eyes burned, “And you were so _fucking_ nice. You were so perfect that I convinced myself you were just pretending because nothing this good could ever happen to me. I convinced myself you were going to change and slap me in the face.”

He angrily wiped away the wetness around his eyes with the edges of his sleeves.

“Literally,” Kuroo clarified.

“Yeah, literally,” Tsukishima replied.

Kuroo was silent for a few moments before Tsukishima spotted him moving and suddenly he was in Kuroo’s arms, face tucked into the corner of Kuroo’s neck. He almost jerks back, worried about the amount of people around them, but the comfort of Kuroo’s scent keeps him steady.

“Tsuki, oh my god, please, _please_ believe me when I say that you do deserve this. I’m so sorry you think this way. But you aren’t hallucinating. I really like you Tsuki. Please don’t think otherwise,” Kuroo’s words are fast and bothered, coming out so quickly that Tsukishima barely has time to process them.

But he does, and they’re sappy as _hell_ but for some reason he finds himself hanging onto each and every one of them. Kuroo is shaking and Tsukishima realizes how genuine these words truly are.

“I’m going to prove to you that I’m not like that alpha your brother dated. That we can work together. That I respect you and love you and want to be happy _with_ you. Is that okay?” Kuroo asked, his voice sounding oddly afraid.

Tsukishima pulled away, a small smile on his face.

“Yeah. That’s okay.”

Kuroo grinned and goes to kiss him but misses and plants a wet kiss on the rim of his glasses. Tsukishima snorted loudly as Kuroo sputtered in embarrassment.

“That was hilarious,” Tsukishima admitted.

Kuroo kisses him on the lips, the tops of his cheeks, his eyes, the sides of his mouth, on the edges of the scent glands in his nec-

A tsum-tsum smacks Kuroo on the side of the face. Tsukishima looked up to see Hinata with a very disapproving expression; Natsu by his side.

“We’re in public you horny cat!” Hinata hissed.

Tsukishima rolled his eyes as Kuroo begins to chuckle, his mouth wrapped up a grin.

“Did you really have to say that out-loud?” Tsukishima drawled.

“Well, at least I can control myself!” Hinata shouted.

“Mm,” He felt Kuroo’s hand slip into his and for the first time in weeks his chest feels light-free of guilt.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did u spot the oiyama ;) 
> 
> plz leave kudos and comments! your support really does help me write!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave your thoughts in the comments and a kudo! It rly makes my day. 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr at slinkyinsects.tumblr.com 
> 
> I am currently taking requests!


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